I’ve been thinking a lot today about human relationships: romantic ones, friendships and family ties. Well, I guess a little bit more about romantic ones. But anyways, I just got to thinking. Are they perishable? Can a feeling really last forever? Because that’s what love is, isn’t it? A feeling?
Of course, friendships sometimes fade. Most close-knit families stick through anything. But romance- what an unstable thing. One minute it’s kissing at stop lights and sweet, consuming stares from across the room, and the next thing you know, it’s gone sour. They’re gone. And you’re just a pile of debris, used and damaged.
I guess when you find that person-that thing- then you find a love that is unbreakable and enduring, but until then, the whole thing just seems scary. It’s scary, you know? Putting your heart out there, being vulnerable. That person can cherish your heart or toss it, raw and exposed, into a black hole. A black hole isn’t just a cave of emptiness, either. Do you know what happens in those things? They’re so violent and destructive that we can’t even begin to comprehend it.
You tell yourself, “Okay, never again. Never again will I let myself be so naive, so stupid, so reckless. It’s not worth it.” And before you know it, you’re in it. The water is even higher than before. You are thinking about things you promised yourself you wouldn’t. And it’s like you sign up for the whole thing all over again, and you didn’t even consent to it. I guess your heart doesn’t do disclaimers.
Just thoughts. Yup. Anyways, good night.